It's been a long 2 months, I've been back at school and we're already at midterm time. Jeez, that's a little overwhelming.

I've been working on something art-related this whole time, off and on. It'll be done soon and then I'll post the whole thing. I'm quite proud of it, but it's also been a good exercise in relaxation. It's always a good idea in a high-stress environment to take some time to yourself everyday to do something you enjoy. Even if it's just a half an hour, take some time for yourself. Read, write, sew, knit, sing, dance, plan a murder. Whatever passes the time.
Heh heh heh...

Hey all of you who read my sappy journal entries.
I want to thank for her kind words, you're awesome.

So I just spent the last several hours scanning hundreds of pages of loose sketches I have stored in my very messy room. I'm trying to get rid of these, and thus make my room a little less of a massive fire hazard. And as as I was scanning all these really old sketches, I realized something. I am SO MUCH BETTER!!! I mean jeez some of these suck, and some are mildly good but they are NOTHING compared to my current drawing skill. I'm not saying I'm a great artist right now, but I'm 50x better than past me. Suck it past me, I'm awesome(ish)

I hope future me will only get better.

Well, I'm done.
If I at all felt like drawing I would somehow channel my rage and depression into my art.
Whatever life has in mind for me, it's taking it's sweet time letting me know. I am purposeless, I feel tiny and insignificant and wholly unimportant.
I'm sorry to be such a bummer, but there are those of you out there who know EXACTLY what I'm taking about.

I was tagged by this has never happened to me before!

Meme Rules:
1->You must post these rules.
2->Each person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3->Answer the questions the tagger set for you, and create ten new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4->You have to choose 10 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5->Go to their pages and tell them you have tagged her/him.
6->No tag backs.
7->No crap in the tagging section about \"you are tagged if you\'re reading this.\" You have to tag 10 people

10 things about myself:
1. I like to sing Opera
2. I have never broken a bone
3. My favorite movie is Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
4. My favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird
5. I am 4' 11" tall
6. I have a tendency toward making strange bird noises when excited
7. I am especially good at imitating Golem from the Lord of the Rings
8. If I turned into a dog I would be a Corgi, and I would probably bite you
9. I can whistle poorly
10. I cannot fly

Tagger's questions:
1. What do you enjoy most about the internet? --> Tumblr
2. Cats or dogs? --> I speak for the dogs
3. What do you do to relax? --> Drink a cup of oolong tea, go for a walk, fight bears
4. Have you ever been to a convention and, if so, which one(s)? --> Big Apple Anime Fest, and Anime Boston (Approximately 6 times)
5. If you could change one aspect of yourself (I'm not saying you should! ), what would it be? --> My face is one thing, right?
6. What is the most interesting place you've visited? --> Rome, Italy
7. If you could have three superpowers, what would they be? --> Superspeed, flight, and the ability to actually finish a project before starting a new one
8. What is/was your favorite subject in school? --> American History
9. Disney or Dreamworks? --> Disney
10. Do you have a favorite stuffed animal or blankie? What does it look like? --> A small white bear rather unoriginally named Whitey bear.

My questions for YOU!
1. Have you committed a crime?
2. Marry, Boff, Kill- Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, Yoda
3. Benedict Cumberbatch- gorgeous actor, or brilliant sex-god?
4. What's your favorite Alfred Hitchcock film?
5. Queen Elizabeth II or Queen Victoria?
6. Hero, or villain?
7. If you could live anywhere on the globe, where would it be?
8. What's the most shameful song on your ipod?
9. Joker, the Riddler, or Catwoman?
10. Did you get that thing I sent you?

Tagged:
Obviously you don't have to fill it out if you don't wish too.

Recently I've been having some issues with my confidence. If I ever had any to begin with, I've lost it.

It used to be that I could sit down and draw for hours on end. I didn't obsess over whether it was good enough, I just drew what I liked. Now I feel like I haven't advanced enough.
My life does not hinge on my artistic skill, I'm in college for history. I left art school after my freshman year. I don't regret leaving art school, it wasn't intellectually stimulating enough. I need to feel challenged by school, I wanted a well-rounded education. However, when I left art school it was almost like admitting defeat. Before, I fancied the idea of working as an artist. Now it feels like I've given up on that idea.
I'm a realist. The art world is very competitive, and there are scores of great artists out there looking for work- artist much better than myself.
Am I letting my realism stop me from having dreams? Did I give up on art school too soon? Should I still be pursuing art, or is it time I gave up on childish dreams? I'm still young, now is the time to make some mistakes and hope for unrealistic things. I just worry...I'm always worrying.

In the not so distant future I will be going to Anime Boston, and I recently spent all of my money on text books for school and sandwiches.
I'm in desperate need of cash! I'm prepared to do ANYTHING, including PORN PORN PORN!

Black and White Line art
Chibi:$3
Waist-up:$4
Full Body:$5

Digital coloring
Chibi:$5
Waist-up:$6
Full body:$7

Payments can be made through Paypal, I'll send you the address upon ordering. Payments should be made first, then you can set a deadline and I will complete your work on time!

Send a message if you're interested!

Hey anyone who bothers to read this.

Things are going well for the time being, for once. I can certainly say that this semester has completely ruined my sleeping schedule. I'm also not eating proper food, and the only exercise I get is walking to classes. Plus my room is a mess. I don't live well...
BUT, am I upset? NO...a little.

I hope I can actually get to work on some decent art this weekend.
Now go my lovelies, live long and prosper.

After a long delay, I am finally living at school. In my lovely single room, in a dorm that's no where knew the campus.

My journey to school started with my luggage falling out of the roof top carrier onto the highway. We got it back, but it was somewhat worse for the wear. Then we kept going, and the straps broke, nearly toppling the whole thing off the car. We had to stop and buy new straps, and eventually made it to school, 2 hours late. So I missed my orientation, and thus did not receive any of the information I needed.
Then I unpacked, said goodbye to my parent's and sister and went to dinner where I ate...alone. I actually enjoy being by myself, I feel perfectly comfortable on my own. I only feel alone when I'm surrounded by people.
Eventually I found my transfer student group, who all knew each other making me the odd woman out. I asked my advisor what I missed at orientation and what I needed and he...pretty much ignored my requests while remaining annoyingly upbeat.
Finally they dropped us off at school after a tour of the town, and I walked back to my dorm in the middle of nowhere, alone, at night, on a campus I'm not familiar with. When I got to my room I collapsed on the bed, watched Sweet Home Alabama on TV and wept profusely.
The night was better, I just stayed by myself and watched Monk. My RA is nice, and the room is bigger than my room at home (which is not hard, as I usually sleep in a walk-in closet)
But altogether the day was nerve-wreaking, death-defying, depression-incuding, miserable, shit parade.

Today wasn't nearly as bad. I still don't know anyone and plan on going to dinner with a book.
I'm looking forward to classes tomorrow, hopefully it will give me a chance to meet people.

If you're not in college yet, don't let my tale deter you. I think this may be the worst first day in history, so you know what to look out for.

So I've been feeling pretty pissed at myself lately.
My scanner has been broken for...like a year. My tablet broke about...3 months ago. And my friend with a scanner is in another country and I can't use her scanner anymore ((because they've installed a security system in their house) I hope people know I'm kidding) But never fear my friends, I will be purchasing a new scanner A.S.A.P.!

Anywhoo, I'm also not happy with the direction my art has taken. My style has changed a lot over the years and for the most part I'm glad. My anatomy has approved (not greatly), my characters have taken more individual designs and personalities. HOWEVER, I just went through my entire gallery over again and realized how much I miss my past styles.
I just need to stop complaining about progress, the past always looks better in hindsight.

But here's a question for all of you who follow me. Who really enjoyed KILL RON? Because I miss it.
Speaking of which the last Harry Potter movie is coming soon...I'm going to laugh SO hard!

I'm having a pretty crap-tastic couple of days (or weeks...)

I'm so tired, I feel like a haven't had a decent nights sleep in months. This is because I sleep on the top bunk of a bunk bed. There's no bottom, I don't know why I sleep on the top. But it's supported by several slots, making the surface the mattress is laying on uneven. I'm getting too young for this shit, I shouldn't be getting back pains!

My brother just came home from a weekend trip and proceeded to yell (I'm mean actual shouting) at us about the laundry room, which is apparently 'his'. There was laundry in the dryer, which is fairly standard, and a bag on the ground he took offense too. Basically, he went apeshit. Then my mom defended him, as she always does. It's not appropriate for a 24 year old to scream at his sisters for nothing, she doesn't seem to see things properly.

The Summer job search has been rather disappointing. I've applied to practically every local store and have been found wanting. It's expected though, times are hard and I can't anticipate much work.

PIE is what I like to eat. Birthday CAKE is a special treat.
They can take you very far. I'm gonna hit you with my car.

So I am D-O-N-E with school, actually with Art school entirely. I am transferring to a liberal arts college and plan on majoring in History with a minor in Studio art.

Don't be bummed though, I'm not quitting art! I love to create and art will always be a part of my life. I just decided I wanted a more well-rounded education. I did not feel intellectually challenged in art school, and missed out on a lot of college life since I was a commuter. I am definitely living at school from now on. Also- I despise art students.

Today I had my end of the year critique, which went VERY well. I'm quite pleased with myself, but I realized the best things I made all year were personal projects outside of school.

Speaking of personal projects, unfortunately my tablet went ka-poot! As did my scanner (that has been dead for a while...) So updates may seize for a little bit. At least until I can go buy another tablet.

This weekend I attended Anime Boston for the 5th year in the row. In the past I have done two masquerade skits (winning awards for both), and many different cosplays. Funny thing is- I do not actually like Anime.
I mean I did, but for the past 4 years I have not watched nor read any Anime or manga. I just prefer men in capes, what can I say?

This year I was dressed as a little sister from Bioshock, it was VERY fun. It was also the first costume I made myself!
I even made a syringe, it was exquisite before it crumbled apart.
It's made out of a turkey baster, a tiny tylenol bottle, a gravy jar, a skewer, and model magic. I love it! The liquid inside the jar is actually grenadine. I stabbed my friends over and over with the sharp point.
[link]

My second cosplay for the weekend was Irma from Disney's W.i.t.c.h. A few weeks for the con I was hanging out with my friends and one said "I've always wanted to do a w.i.t.c.h. cosplay." and so we did. A few people did recognize us, and I made some nice wings for our costumes.

My purchases for the weekend were two pins, adding up to $2.50. I took a picture of an attractive man with green colored contacts dressed as the Joker and now have it as my phone wallpaper. I get such a lady-boner for attractive jokers.
If you were at Anime Boston, tell me how it was and what you enjoyed!

I saw Arthur last weekend, the new Arthur. I've seen the original, and I loved it, but I REALLY loved Russell Brand. It was great, hilarious, adorable, heart-warming and realistic (to an extent). The scenes between Russell and Helen Mirren made me weep like a small emotionally disturbed child. I love Liza, she's an idol, but the new heroin was very good. She was sweet and cute and their was more character development all around. The end of the new version (don't worry I won't ruin it), it much more realistic than the old one. And I loved it. Go see it, go see Russell and Helen.

On a side note, I really want some art. I wish someone would make me some art...(Begging) I'd be perfectly find with doing an art trade! I demand my original characters be reproduced! GRAAAHH!!

I honestly don't have much to say, I just wanted to get that other entry off the page.
I'm on vacation! But the stress and anxiety I feel from school is strangling me and not allowing me to relax so...nerds.

Is anyone else fed up with Glee? Seriously Glee I'm only watching you now for Kurt and Blaine, WHEN will they get together?! Jeez, enough stalling!
Also Mr. Schuester is 'teacher handsome' not 'celebrity handsome'. Take him out of the school environment and he's nothing to shake a stick at. So stop making him act sexy...it sickens me.

I hate being the adult in any given situation, as I am not an adult. Sure I'm over 18, in college, and in the event I murder someone I will be tried as an adult. Yet I am still a child, I don't think there are many 19 year olds who could boast otherwise.
Tonight my home erupted in a spew of selfishness, over-reaction and general malice. Ever since childhood I have tried to act as a neutral party, I attempt to keep civility in a household marred by depression and resentment. I'm not perfect, and I assure you I have often caused some of the discourse in my home. Tonight however, I could do very little. I will not talk specifics, just to say that I am disappointed in all parties. No one is ever right in these types of situations and it is impossible to talk rationally to irrational people. I only hope that in the end it will not tear us apart.
Sometimes being an adult means saying unpopular truths. Doing the right thing, telling others what they don't want to hear can be difficult, nearly impossible if the other party is unwilling to learn.  I do not want to end up alienating myself from the people I love.
I want them to see how destructive simply petty arguments can be. When we put aside all the hate and anger we're really people who care about each other and want resolution. Sometimes that means changing, admitting we were wrong and really owning up to the things we hate the most about ourselves.

I'm not looking for sympathy, this is not a pity party. I need to get this out of my system before I lose it. I'm just a child, but whenever I have to act like an adult that is the time I need support the most. I need someone to hug me, apologize and tell me it's going to turn out alright. I think most adults need that but are too proud to admit it.
Don't bottle up your feelings, tell people straightforward how you feel. It might be hard, and it might not always fix things but it's the right thing to do.

Also, I watched the movie Dick today, that is funny as hell. Saw the King's Speech AGAIN (still just as brilliant) and watched the Social network which was good but does not deserve best picture. Which means I watched 3 movies today, bitchin'.

I am le tired, but my sister said I need to update my journal because it's hideously out of date.
I've been back in school for the last couple of weeks. It's been hellish, but acceptable. I don't have classes on Friday anymore so I shouldn't complain.
I'm worried I don't eat enough fruit, I might be at risk for scurvy.
I saw The Fighter last weekend, at the theater where the movie scene was filmed. It was funny because the people the movie were like "Why'd you take me to richy rich lexington?!". Ha ha ha!!!
I've never liked Christian Bale in any role he's ever been in, but he was fantastic. I hate the guy but I have to give props where they're due. I loved Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech but Christian Bale should win best supporting actor!

That's all for now, Ciao my darlings.

My First Semester of College is OVER!
I had a rough time of it, so I'm so grateful it's done with. Yeesh! However now I'm all paranoid about developing an original style because a certain german man who shall not be named said my style was boring and unoriginal and yet he still gave me a very good grade. It's fair enough, my style is still in development, and is unoriginal but calling me boring is just plain rude!

Now that my lengthy vacation has begun I will have more time to work on personal art- thank goodness!
Oh by the way- IT'S SNOWING!!!! Holy crap I am freaking out!

Happy holidays!

5000 pageviews? I'm not sure if that's impressive in the slightest but I'm grateful all the same.
I'm lucky to have so many views, and faves, and kind watchers and followers. Thank you all!

On to real business, I had a dream the other night...(stories that start like this are usually good) that I had superman's powers and had to stop Voldemort from...being Voldemort I guess. In the dream I had to find Conan O'Brien to help me fight Voldemort (I needed a comedian and he's my favorite). I learned in the dream that Conan had actually been born a corgi, and could change into his corgi form at anytime. So he turned into a corgi and I flew him over a tall fence to fight Voldy in a mall. Then it ended abruptly- I guess we'll never know they fate of corgi-conan.
In another dream I was married to Patrick Stewart, it had no real story, but come on- Patrick Stewart- that's pretty awesome. This emoticon serves no purpose it's just...wow.

My vacation will be starting soon, so expect an influx of creative crap. G'night my lovelies!

So I just had...one of the most horrible mornings on record. I met up with some friends from high school, girls I've been friends with since elementary school. Most of them went away for school, within new england but too far to visit. We all sort of lost touch, I had no idea how much.
It's weird you know people who you thought you knew turn out to be...completely out-there. My parents are so lucky to have me for a daughter.

Anyway. I have weird heart-burn that is radiating in my throat. I think my tonsils are infected, but I'm too afraid to go to a doctor because if they tell me they need to get taken out I know I'll end up like Julie Andrews and never be able to sing again. That would be a great episode for House.

As for Art related news (not that anyone actually reads these posts) I've got several final projects looming over me-including a 6 foot tall 4 foot wide self portrait. I'm 4'11". I guess I'll have to stand on a chair to draw it. Art school was a great idea, right?! That may mean fewer updates.

Best of luck to all you lonely souls out there. Au plaisir de vous revoir!

"Oh my god, I coughed and a little purse came out!" -Kurt (Glee)
I love Glee, it's true. Although Kurt has become a tad insufferable, more like a massive stereotype than an actual character with depth. "Oh I'm gay, my entire life revolves around being gay and fabulous!" Also- I never liked Rachel! There I said it.

It's been a busy week, lots of final projects to start and fret over, lots of homework to make up. I've been putting off some important assignments that just crept up on me, now I'm drowning! So updates will be a while. I hope I can manage to squeeze in something new!

Commissions are WIDE open baby, feed a starving artist!
Clearly I'm not above begging. Like my art? Want something of your own? Nothing is too degrading.